Corporate claustrophobia, office parties and sheer frivolity

Manic, rude, cut-throat and insane – yes, corporate culture is just lovely. No wonder two thirds of the people have one foot out the door – and the other third are looking for an exit. See the films, The Corporation, Office Space, and Brazil, if you want to better understand the corporate world. They pretty much sum up the general norm. There are stellar exceptions, of course, but they are the exceptions which prove the current rule. The Office of Circumlocution that Dickens satirized, the wit of Thoreau and the nightmares of Orwell, Huxley and Kafka, all presaged the pathologies of bureaucratic corporate society, more than we generally care to admit. Something has to give. Which brings me to the topic of tonight’s discussion: office party attire, and other inanities.

Lea, my belle, was asking what I’m going to where to the office party tomorrow night – I said I’ll wear anything she likes; but I draw the at wearing a thong and a kilt. I’ll wear a kilt, but no thong, sorry. Actually, I wear the same thing everyday, so my wardrobe concerns are pretty minimal – as in, zero. But I do like the kilt idea.

No, I haven’t been drinking – just high on dishwasher fumes, I guess. They must be putting a new chemical in that dishwasher detergent. We’ll have to get more of that.

It does make me think, however, to return to the central subject matter of corporate office party attire, that it might be a good idea to have an international wardrobe day once a month for every workplace. It might lighten things up to see three hundred pound Fred Jones in a sarong or Janet in a Fez – and it could broaden cultural awareness while softening the death-grip of super stress and stuffiness, and bring a breath of fresh air – in more ways than one!

But then, I think that Margarita Mondays should start at 2:00, so my business advice may be a little too much on the bohemian side for most managers and executives.

Margarita Mondays from 2:00-8:00, and Frosty Beer Fridays, 2:00-10:00…. We start and end the week with short days, to ease the strain; cut the work week to 34 hours; and increase productivity by increasing moral and decreasing stress – sounds good to me.

And how about 20 minute chair massages, or foot massages – your choice – for all staff, once a week, scheduled at your leisure and convenience? Really, the stress reduction and the improved energy and concentration that would result would increase productivity more than sufficiently to compensate for the minimal up-front expense outlay, I am convinced.

The entire corporate world and the broader economy and culture need a major renaissance and re-thinking, if not a revolution, but these tiny ideas could be some very small steps to injecting a little more life into what tends more often than not to be a rather staid, stolid and stultifying environment. I tell you, people are going to start speaking in involuntary alliteration if this keeps up without a change!

But we’re getting way to serious here for this little discussion. Time for more frivolity!

Take it away Fozzy!

Whoops – I am now told that I have misspelled the name of Fozzie Bear! Stop the presses! We must rectify this immediately! We definitely do not want to upset the Muppet fans! They are a rowdy bunch! And you certainly don’t want to see Animal upset! (Keith Moon RIP.)

Sorry Fozzie!

JTR,
December 10, 2013

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